totallyFUCKEDxx
yea

my arm is stinging
ugh
hate myself

its cold
im bored
im never alone on friday nights
this is weird

ASHLEIGH DONT DO IT!!!!!!!
lmfao

i share my birthday with Corbin Bleu
for those of you who dont know; he was in High School Musical 1,2,3

we actually have alot in common
be both have a love for acting
and dancing
and..........................SARA LEE WHITE BREAD
lmfao

my mom actually listens to me when i talk
she went shopping today
and she got me a Penn state Shirt and a Cornell Shirt :)
im gunna wear the penn state one tmw :)
yay

9/11/01
attack on the WTC

11/4/08
The first president with black roots was elected as president

1/20/09
the end of George Bush's presidency [a presiDONT who AmeriCANT...Bo Burnham]

watch for 1:28 and 2:20 :)

today was really awesome
but now im so confused
i just dont know
ugh
yech




BTW
I FUCKING HATE THE MIKADO AND I DONT KNOW WHAT SIG IS SMOKING!!
on that note
I HATE SIG
that is all

my thanksgiving fucking sucked
like it always does
and once again
my family got on my ass anout how i dont eat turkey
and then they hopped on my ass about my weight
like always

and people wonder why i hate thanksgiving so much
and why i hate my family so fucking much
fuckers

i had so much fun tonight
even though i still cant feel my toes
it was really emotional though
cuz lex is going to mexico for 10days
and it feels weird
because i see her just about everyday
its gunna be weird
and it made us think about how much its gunna suck when we go to college
im gunna either be in pennsylvania or all the way upsatate
kelsey is gunna be in staten island or pennsylvania
and lex is gunna be here

its gunna be hard
theyre my best friends
but we are getting each other webcams if we dont get our macbooks b4 then lol

like people dont get it
like yea hey have their best friends or what not
but were really close...and im also gunna really miss my family
i mean we fight and all
but its gunna really suck to be away for them all the time
=/

ive been sort of tutoring my little brother to help him out in school
but yet
he is still failing 3rd grade
holy crap
being smart kinda runs in my family
my mom is totally flipping her shit right now
no one in my family has ever failed a class
but a whole grade?
basically that means he is failing every class
how does a 3rd grader fail?
3rd grade is sooo easyy!

im not gunna post my grades because im disgusted with them
i will say that my overall average is 89.743
.743!
they couldnt give my the .3 more points that would give me a 90?!
gawd

i will however go back onto the college track
and follow emily's trackk
and post costs and such

Penn State: [24,940]

Cornell: [36,504]

University of Southern California: [37,890]

Stony Brook: [5,810]

New York University: [37,372]


Stony Brook is the most sensible pricewise, but i really really want to go to penn state. i even picked out the sorority that i want to join there. Delta Gamma :). I really like what they stand for when it comes to helping others, and they also seem to be a sorority that can party when they want to. DeeGee :)

So im inspired by emily and luis to post my college wishes
I want to go and Major in Psychology and Minor in Dramatic Arts

so here goes
[in order of desire to attend]


Cornell University
[Ithaca, New York]

Pennsylvania State University; University Park Campus
[University Park, Pennsylvania]

University of Southern California
[Los Angeles, California]

Stony Brook University
[Stony Brook, New York]

New York University
[New York, New York]


So i think im like in over my head here, since all of the schools that I want to go to are all REALLY hard to get into. but i reallly dont want to go to a community college. And plus if i were to attend a school that was easy to get into, say suffolk, id be wayyy to close to home for my own good. Even attending Stony Brook is a bit close for comfort. I need to get away from this place soon or i will suffocate. But at the same time, i want to be close enough to be able to visit home. Thats why USC is 3rd. Its actually my top choice, but its so far that I cant come home quickly. And i need to be able to do that, especially with the condition that my dad is in. I HAVE to get away from my mother, and finnaly be who i really am, and stop having to pretend to be something that im not for her. but that is something that i deff dont want to get into right now.

Cornell is my dream school but pretty much unattainable. University of Southern California is my more attainable school that i am absolutely in love with but its wayy too far. this brings us to penn state. I love the school, i can deff get into it, and its far, but close enough for me to come home quickly if need be. Stony Brook and NYU are are sort of last ditch schools that id use if i really screwed up my grades and couldnt get into my top three schools.

i didnt put the answers exactly, theyre in the paragraphs provided though


Introduction

1. How does Salinity, pH, Temperature, and Inhibitors specifically interfere with the functions of an enzyme?
Salt Concentration: If the salt concentration is close to zero, the charged amino acid side chains of the enzyme molecules will attract each other. The enzyme will denature and form an inactive precipitate. If, on the other hand, the salt concentration is very high, normal interaction of charged groups will be blocked, new interactions will occur, and again the enzyme will precipitate. An intermediate salt concentration such that of human blood or cytoplasm is optimum for many enzymes.
pH: As the pH is lowered an enzyme will tend to gain H+ ions, and eventually enough side chains will be affected so that the enzyme's shape is disrupted. Likewise, as the pH is raised, the enzyme will lose H+ ions and eventually lose its active shape. Many enzymes perform optimally in the neutral pH range and are denatured at either an extremely high or low pH. Some enzymes, such as pepsin, which acts in the human stomach where the pH is very low, have a low pH optimum.
Temperature: Since enzymes are catalysts for chemical reactions, enzyme reactions also tend to go faster with increasing temperature. However, if the temperature is raised still further, a temperature optimum is reached, and the enzyme starts to denature.
Inhibitors: If a molecule decreases the reaction rate it is an inhibitor. These molecules can regulate how fast the enzyme acts. any substance that tends to unfold the enzyme will act as an inhibitor.
2. How will the Rate of Catalase be measured in this experiment?
In the absence of catalase, this reaction occurs spontaneously, but very slowly. Catalase speeds up the reaction considerably.
3. What is KMnO4? How will it be used to measure the rate of the Reaction?
After the reaction is stopped, the amount of substrate remaining in the beaker is measures. To assay this quantity, potassium permanganate is used. Potassuim permanganate (KMnO4), in the presence of H2O2 and H2SO4 reacts as follows:
5 H202+2 KMnO4+3 H2SO4 --> K2SO4+2 MnSO4+ 8 H2O+ 5 O2
The addition of excess of KMnO4 causes the solution to have a permanent pink or brown color. Therefore the amount of remaining H2O2 is determining by adding KMnO4 until the whole mixture stays a faint pink or brown.
Exercise 2A

Use your knowledge of the metabolism or Peroxide to Answer questions 1-3 in the Lab


Exercise 2A: Test of Catalase Activity
1. To observe the reaction to be studied, transfer 10mL of 1.5% (o.44M) H2O2 into a 50mL glass beaker and add 1mL of the freshly made catalase solution. The bubbles coming from the reaction mixture are O2, which results from the breakdown of H2O2 by catalase. Be sure to keep the freshly made catalase solution on ice at all times.
1. What is the enzyme in this reaction
2. What is the substrate in this reaction.
3. What is the product in this reaction.
4. How could you show that the gas evolved in O2

im soooo tired
urgh
i need more sleep
i need more time in the day
i need a new life
gurrrgh

im flipping out right now
this is totally surreal
i cant believe it
hopefully this is not a dream
BARACK OBAMA IS THE 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA w00t w00t!!

not even gonna answer the question
i dedicate this question to someone
she knows who she is
lol :)

ughhhhhhhhh

you dont know what its like to be me
who fucking dare you tell me ive got no problems
fuck you bitch

...and chicks before dicks

thats all i have to say about that

i feel like im just fading into the background of life, like im just gonna disappear. i can't keep going in the direction that im going in. i feel so lost and its tearing me apart. i dont want to feel the way that i do but for some reason i cant help it. jealousy is such a bitch and i hate being jealous too. im taking 3 steps forward and 5 steps back. i never though that i would feel this helpless because of this situation. i just want to ball up and cry for days. why cant i feel any better about myself. i was so confident just a few weeks ago. now im just depressed and lonely everyday.




on a slightly happier note lex's party was on friday and it was sooooooo fun. :)

but thats as happy as i can get right now and its really upsetting

SO my mom and i got into a huge fight just now and she told me how she really feels about my plans for the future. Anyone who knows me half decent knows that i want to become a psychologist, and have wanted to since i was in 8th grade. So somehow we stumbled upon this disucssion at dinner and she starts to tell me how she doesnt want me to become a psychologist. Mean while this whole time she's said she's gunna support me in whatever i do and blah blah blah. She said that she was just lying to me all this time to make me feel better and she hoped that i would grow out of it.

She told me that she thinks its one of the stupidest and unnessceary professions and that if im gunna pursue it shes not gunna help me pay for college. She just kept going on and on about how its a dumb profession and how it was just gunna drive me nuts helping people with their issues all the time and how im never gunna be able to find a steady job with the way that the economy is going. It just really sucks because this is something that ive wanted since the 8th grade and ive been looking at colleges since 8th to become a psychologist. Its just upsetting that she would just lie to me like that and act as if i dont know that its gunna be tough at first, i mean with any profession that i choose its gunna be tough to find a job. {And FYI I refuse to become a fucking civil servant like her and drop outta college or be like my brother and do nothing with my life} But I know if i can just get through college i can make it :)

w.e. im going to go watch teevee and watch the debate. GO OBAMA :)

got lots to think about
i had mucho fun yesterday for kaylees birthday
went shopping with her, kelsey, kay's momma, and her broo
omfg i saw another gay movie
143
finally!
k
baiiiii :)

Wow.
Wow is a rose.
Wow is a rose made beautiful.
Wow is a rose made beautiful by its perfections.
Wow is a rose made beautiful by its perfections that are truly imperfections.
Wow is a rose made beautiful by its perfections that are truly imperfections, like a broken thorn.
Wow is a rose made beautiful by its perfections that are truly imperfections, like a broken thorn, or a missing petal
Wow is a rose, that is no longer a rose.
Wow is like a rose that isn't perfect that isn't perfect, yet still stands proud
Wow is like me and you.
Wow is like the way you look at me.
Wow is like the way you look at me, not judging.
Wow is like the way you look at me, not judging, seeing all of my flaws.
Wow is like the way you look at me, not judging, seeing all of my flaws, and yet, still loving.
Wow.

literally
im freaking out right now
i have no clue what to do
im trying to figure out what my schedule should be for next year
why so early you ask?
cuz i dont wanna be caught scrambling around last minute and end up stuck with a schedule that is gunna fuck me over when colleges look at me :/
ugh
i have too many fucking classes and not enough periods to take them in
blah

going to do my AP American hmwrk and my stupid reflections thingy
ughhhhh

me first mate be kelsey marie
:)
id be willing to walk teh plank for me friends maties

being sick sucks
i feel like im gunna die
but im a bit better than yesterday so :/
school sucks
and i didnt actually fail that quiz i took in math
she graded the first half and i only got two points off
i just hope i do good on the rest
:/

second football game of the season tomorrow :)
btw it starts at 130 Ashleigh :)
everyone should comeeee :)

going off to eat some yummy veggies
red potatoes with green beans in a garlic butter sauce
123
yumm

so sick right now
i cant do anything except sip tea
blehh

of me
shall be soon
due to the immense stress of school
blah

my hair looks great
lots of ap homework
goodbye

i WAS getting over my insomnia
but
then ap american came along
gur

first day of physical therapy
my physical therapist is HOTT :)
but supposedly im supposed to get some new person on thursday when i go :/
oh well
im gunna go and NOT slep
damn ap american

why the hell did i choose to take AP american
AND
AP bio
AND
AP english
blahhh
justt finished my homeworkkk
please kill me nowww
thank youuu

still havent done any homeworkk
lol
watching a house marathon instead
teeheehee

havent posted in a few days
which is strange for me
my computer is a piece of cap that is currently not recieving a charge therefoore i cant use it
i have to use the family computer
which i hate
and it doesnt have itunes so noo music for mee
gahh
first few days of school were actually pretty cool
i gots my new phonee <3
my classes are pretty cool
my teachers are okayy
ive got lots of AP homework this week
english, bio, AND american
thats all of my aps
blahhh
my dad is really sick
his legs are getting better:) but they gave a him a walker and they think theres something wrong with his kidneys now :(
its w.e
ugh my ap american textbook is calling my name... booo

im still a rockstar
lol
im extremely boreddddddddddddddd
im at ym uncle nevs house for a bbq
but theres no one anywhere near my age
theres only little boy and 40+ here
shoot meeeee
blehhh

school starts in 2 daysss :/
idk if im more excited or nervous
im excited to see the people who i havent seen all summer :)
but also theres gunna be the people who i dont wanna see :/
but
SO WHAT :)

ive devoted my heart and soul to this sport for 5 years
all of my former teammates were shocked
they want me back
but
the coaches cut me
its done
over with
everyone says i should come back and manage the team
and play again next year
but
im done
im no longer a field hockey player
im gonna go to a few games this season
to cheer on my girls
but
i will never pick up a stick again
im done
for good
i dont regret ever playing

For good: wicked

I'm limited:
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you -
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
(spoken) For both of us
(sung) Now it's up to you:
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
Like a comet pulled Like a ship blown
From orbit as it Off it's mooring
Passes a sun, like By a wind off the
A stream that meets Sea, like a seed
A boulder, half-way Dropped by a
Through the wood Bird in the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?
And because I knew you:
Because I knew you:
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.

scheduleeee
1. sat math and verbal...idk yet for the second half of the year
2. AP english
3. theatre 4...yes i skipped 3
4. AP american
5. AP bio/gym
6. AP bio
7. math b1/b2
8. KICKINEEEEEEE

i hate preseason :(
btw if faith happens to see this....are you playing? nobody knows. practice is from 730am to 10am and 430pm to 730pm

guidance screwed up my schedule
this is it for nowwww

1- English 11A [im deff supposed to be in AP]
2- Spanish 3 [ WTF I dropped this class to take theatre 3!]
3- Math b1/b2
4- AP american history
5- gym [day 1]
5- AP bioo [day 2]
6- AP bioo
7- SAT verbal [3rd and 4th quarter day 1]
7- parenting [1st and second quarterr]
7- SAT math [ 3rd and 4th quarterr day 2]
8- kicklineeeeeeee

gurrrr i cant believe thew screwed up
especially i was in ms sevareses' office for like every day for a month setting up my schedule
and i saw it being put togetherr
ughhhh

finally done with freshman orientations
stayed late to do the bulletin board with luis
hes really friggen anal
lol
going school shopping wid momma
possibly getting my hair straightened today so that i can get my new weave done next weekend :)
dum work seminar from 2 to 4
gurrr

and hes admitted he has feelings for me
but he hasnt asked me out
im kinda waiting
i dont wanna wait for much longer
but i really like him
and i deff know hes a player
but
he makes me feel special when we hang out :)
i just dont know what to do
:(

i just took my sleeping pills with monster
wow

6 days till my best friend comes home

today was pretty good
went to belmont park with court and lex
we scouted out the perfect location for their party on wednesday [btw come!! wednesday at 4 pm in belmont park....bring food or drinks]
mucho excited for that
then lex ditched us
so me and courted walked to the cvs on little east neck with intent to purchase food
then we realized we didnt have any money
so we walked home

cant wait till tomorrow
cuz me and court and possibly lex are goin to the movies
mucho excited for that

ugh i had to guide freshnam orientation today
and unlike some ppl *cough* LUIS *cough*
i got stuck with today
and therefore got stuck with the entire week
ugh


6 days till kelsawaw comes home!!!!

allys sweet sixteen was pretty damn good this morning
brees sweet sixteen was really damn good
although i didnt like how she did her candle ceremony
it was really impersonal
but w.e
ben vasallo, mike and matt hopper, and courtney were all in bens carr cuz ben was our ridee
lmfao
we had some adventures
first
was raced royce down the southern state at 90 mph
we almost hit him when he stopped short in front of us
while we were racing him courtney and little hopper and i were sticking our head out the sunroof
and i flashed a car
then
we went to wendys
lmfao
we parked like in the middle of the lot
but then we had to got back and get big hoppers fries
and my crispy chicken samwich tasted like sumone replaced the mayo with jizz
lmfao
i threw it out the window
and then ben and lil hopper got out and pretened to jerk off
lmfao
and sumhow my frosty got on bens car, although it never got anywhere near it.......
lmfao



i left brees party at 1130
and didnt get home till after 1230
LMFAO
we had one hell of a night
8.16.08<33333

i cant believe you
all that ive done for you and i get this in return?
well im fucking sorry im anemic.
i didnt choose this
im fucking sorry if im sick sometimes.
im fucking new at this shit
i was there for you when you were sick.
and now your better
the fucking tumor is gone.
and you still have to have everything revolve around you
well you know what
it doesnt
you feel betrayed cuz i was sick at your stupid shit?
well fuck you
i didnt CHOOSE to be sick

Its day three of band camp 08
:)
alot of psycho teachers
but
i have almost all of my closest friends there
:)
im really excited for football season this year

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN best friend
i love you
you like the sister i never had
:D

JOSHUA WON!
im so friggin happy
and katee came in as the number one girl
i soooo friggen predicted this
im so happy
that a black guy
with no formal dance training
went all the way
and is accomplishing alot of peoples dreams
he is americas best dancer
:)

im watching this lifetime movie called mom, dad, and her
and the main characters grandfather passed away
and she was singing a song
and it made me think about my grandfather
and how friday is the two year anniversary of his death
and how i miss him so much
and how even though i wasnt really his granddaughter
he took me in and treated me like one
he was the only grandfather i had for a really long time
the only on who i thought that loved me
i miss him so much
i cant believe that he is gone
my family isnt the same without him
i miss him

Break-ups are never easy, especially when they're not clean-cut.. but let the break-ups break you and the significant other apart.. Do not let the break-ups break you apart from you also.


When we break up with someone or lose something special, we can't abandon ourselves also because who will we have to turn to when the nights get longer?

Let the break-up inspire you to have a better relationship with yourself. Make yourself feel worthy of true love by showing yourself true love. Take yourself out on a date. Go to a movie alone for once. Enjoy your own company..

because I belive that we only go for what we think we're worthy of.. and I don't know about y'all, but I'm ready to feel worthy of true love.. not forced love.


Here's to all of us who have had our hearts broken.


When a heart is broken, it doesn't mean it can't heal.. It just means that it is going to take longer to heal than most things. Give yourself time. Give yourself space.. but most importantly- DON'T give your heart away unless they're worth it.


Kisses & Cumshots,

well my real name is samantha mischelle
i was named samantha because of samantha stephens from bewitched :)
i got mischelle from my asshole of a father, michael